Can I foster if I have children of my own?
Yes, you can foster if you have children of your own. During the assessment, the fostering service will consider your children’s needs, ages, views and routines, as well as the space available and how fostering may affect family life.
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Having birth, adopted or stepchildren does not automatically prevent you from fostering. The key question is whether your household can offer a stable, suitable environment for a child in care without compromising the wellbeing of the children already living with you.
Your fostering assessment will look at how fostering could affect everyday family life. This includes school arrangements, activities, friendships, family time, privacy, transport and the way responsibilities are shared between adults. You will need to show that you can meet the needs of a foster child while continuing to provide consistent care and attention to your own children.
Your children’s involvement matters. They should have an opportunity to understand what fostering may involve and to express their views in an age-appropriate way. Younger children may need simple explanations about why a foster child is joining the household, while teenagers may want more detailed discussions about privacy, boundaries and changes to family routines. Their views will inform the assessment, although the final decision also considers the wider safety and suitability of the household.
It is sensible to discuss practical questions with your family before applying, including:
- Which rooms and shared spaces a foster child would use
- How everyone’s privacy would be protected
- How school runs, clubs, appointments and transport would be managed
- What changes might be needed to household rules or routines
- How your children could raise concerns or ask for help
- How you would maintain individual time with each child
Accommodation is also assessed. Foster children generally need their own bedroom, subject to the child’s age, needs and the fostering service’s requirements. Your home must provide suitable space, privacy and safety. If you have more than one child, the assessor will consider how bedrooms and shared areas would work for everyone rather than looking only at the number of rooms.
The age and needs of a foster child can affect the match. A child who needs a calm environment, for example, may not be suited to a busy household, while another child may benefit from living alongside children of a similar age. Matching should take account of your own children’s circumstances, relationships and vulnerabilities. You can discuss the types of placements that may be appropriate and any situations that would not be suitable for your family.
Fostering can involve changes in behaviour, communication and emotional needs. Children who have experienced neglect, abuse or disruption may find family rules difficult, seek considerable reassurance or respond differently from your own children. Training helps you understand these responses, use appropriate boundaries and seek advice when situations become challenging. Your children should also know which adults they can speak to if fostering affects them.
You are not expected to manage the assessment alone. It normally involves conversations about your family history, relationships, health, home, parenting experience and reasons for fostering, alongside checks, references and preparation training. The assessment is an opportunity to identify strengths, discuss potential pressures and consider what support your household may need before a placement is agreed.
Once approved, foster carers receive ongoing guidance from their fostering service. This can include advice about a child’s behaviour and care plan, training, supervision and support with working with schools, social workers and the child’s wider network. The fostering service should also consider the effect of placements on your own children when reviewing how a placement is progressing.
Being honest about your family’s circumstances is important. You do not need to present your household as perfect, but you should be able to explain how you manage difficulties, resolve disagreements and protect each child’s needs. If your own children are going through a significant change, such as a serious illness, family separation or major examination period, it may be appropriate to discuss whether this is the right time to apply.
The best next step is to talk through your family’s ages, routines, living arrangements and expectations with a fostering adviser. They can explain the current requirements, answer questions about matching and help you understand how your children would be involved before you decide whether to proceed.
One aspect families sometimes overlook is that fostering may involve helping a child maintain relationships with their birth family. This can include attending contact arrangements, supporting phone calls or messages, and managing changes in a child’s emotions before or after contact. These responsibilities can affect household plans, so they should be considered alongside your own children’s activities and commitments.
Foster carers must respect a child’s privacy and avoid discussing confidential information with other children in the household. Your children can be given a general explanation of why plans or behaviour may sometimes change, without being told details that are not theirs to know. Clear boundaries help everyone understand what can be shared, where private conversations take place and who to approach with questions.
During assessment, it is useful to discuss how your family would respond if contact arrangements changed at short notice or a foster child needed additional reassurance afterwards. Thinking through these situations can help you decide whether fostering is workable for your household and identify any guidance you would need before a placement begins.
Discuss fostering with your family
Contact our fostering team to discuss your household’s circumstances and receive guidance on the next steps towards an informed decision.