Can I become a foster carer if I have children of my own?

Children already living in your household are included in the fostering assessment. The assessment looks at whether fostering can be introduced safely and appropriately, taking account of your children’s ages, needs, personalities, experiences and views, as well as the wider circumstances of your family.

Your children may be birth children, adopted children, stepchildren or children for whom you have parental responsibility. Their situation will not be treated as an automatic barrier, but fostering must be right for the whole household. A fostering social worker will discuss what the change could mean for them and how they might respond to sharing their home and their parents or carers.

What will be considered?

• Your children’s understanding and views: They should have information that is suitable for their age and understanding. Their feelings, questions and concerns will be explored during the assessment rather than being dismissed or treated as an afterthought.
• Their individual needs: This may include health, education, additional needs, emotional wellbeing, friendships and important routines. The assessment considers whether your household has enough stability and capacity to support another child without overlooking the children already in your care.
• Safety and household relationships: Everyone living in the home must be able to live together safely. The assessment considers family relationships, boundaries, privacy, how conflict is managed and whether there are any circumstances that could make fostering unsuitable.
• The likely age and needs of a foster child: Not every placement will be suitable for every family. A child’s age, behaviour, experiences, communication needs and level of support required should be considered alongside your own children’s circumstances.
• Practical space and routines: Fostering may affect bedrooms, mealtimes, school journeys, activities, holidays and time spent together. The household will need arrangements that give each child appropriate personal space, supervision and attention.

Having children of your own can also give you useful experience of children’s routines, development, communication and changing needs. However, fostering is not simply the same as parenting another child. Foster children may have experienced neglect, abuse, loss or several previous moves, and their behaviour may reflect those experiences. Your assessment will consider your ability to understand this, respond consistently and work with professionals and the child’s birth family where appropriate.

Preparing your children for fostering

Talk about fostering in clear, age-appropriate language. Explain that a foster child may need additional help and that this does not mean your own children matter less. It is useful to discuss sharing toys and common areas, keeping personal belongings safe, respecting privacy, managing disagreements and speaking to an adult when something feels uncomfortable.

Children should not be expected to become carers or to take responsibility for a foster child’s behaviour. They can be part of ordinary family life, but adults remain responsible for supervision, safeguarding, boundaries and communication with professionals. It is also important to protect your children’s privacy and not share confidential information about a foster child with them or with others.

Your fostering service can help you plan how to introduce a child, establish household rules and respond if relationships are difficult. A careful matching process is important: the child’s needs, your family’s capacity and the likely effect on everyone in the home should be considered before a placement is agreed. Saying that a particular match may not be suitable is part of responsible fostering, not a failure.

What happens during the application?

• You receive information about fostering and discuss your household’s circumstances with a fostering adviser or social worker.
• You complete an application and provide information needed for the assessment, including details about the people who live in your home.
• The assessing social worker meets with you and, where appropriate, speaks with your children. They explore your family history, parenting experience, support network, home life and reasons for fostering.
• You complete preparation training covering safeguarding, trauma, behaviour, safer caring, working with families and the effect of fostering on household members.
• Required checks and references are completed, and the assessment report considers whether fostering is suitable for your household and what approval would be appropriate.
• A fostering panel may review the assessment before the final approval decision is made. If you are approved, your supervising social worker continues to provide guidance, training and support.

Your children’s views form part of this evidence, but they are not expected to make the decision themselves. The adults applying to foster remain responsible for deciding whether their household can manage the commitment. If your children have significant concerns, or if the assessment identifies risks that cannot be managed, it may be better to delay applying or reconsider the type of fostering being explored.

Fostering can affect household finances and daily arrangements, so ask for a clear explanation of the fostering allowance and any other financial support available. Amounts and arrangements can depend on the fostering service, the child’s needs and the placement, and should be confirmed before you proceed.

The most helpful question is not whether you already have children, but whether your whole family has the capacity, preparation and support to include a foster child safely. Discuss your individual circumstances with the fostering team so that the assessment can consider your children’s needs alongside your ability to foster.