Can therapy for foster parents involve my partner or family?

Therapy for foster parents may be delivered as individual work, joint sessions with a partner, or family-focused support, depending on the concern being addressed. Involving other people can help explore relationship patterns, communication, household routines and the impact of fostering on family life, rather than treating the foster carer in isolation.

Joint therapy with a partner can be useful when fostering responsibilities are affecting communication, decision-making or the sharing of care. Sessions might look at how both partners respond to stress, how they manage disagreements, and how they can present consistent boundaries to a fostered child. The therapist may help each person identify what support they need and agree practical ways to discuss difficult situations outside sessions.

Family involvement may be appropriate where fostering affects other members of the household. This could include discussions about changes to routines, privacy, personal space, expectations, contact arrangements or relationships between a fostered child and birth children. The aim is not to make children responsible for resolving adult concerns. A therapist should adapt the approach to each person’s age, understanding and willingness to participate.

Family work does not necessarily mean that everyone attends every appointment. A therapist may combine whole-family meetings with separate conversations, depending on the circumstances. Some topics may be more suitable for a private session, while others are best explored with the people directly involved. Before this begins, the therapist should explain the structure, the purpose of each type of session and how records will be managed.

• Partners: may work together on communication, shared decisions and managing the demands of fostering.
• Birth children: may contribute to age-appropriate discussions about household changes and their own feelings or concerns.
• Extended family or trusted adults: may sometimes be involved where they provide regular practical or emotional support.
• Other professionals: may only be included where this is clinically appropriate, properly authorised or required for safeguarding.

It is important to clarify confidentiality when more than one person takes part. Individual therapy usually gives the client a private space, whereas joint therapy requires the therapist to explain what happens if one person shares information separately. Some therapists use a policy that information disclosed privately cannot automatically be kept from the other participant if it is relevant to the joint work. Safeguarding concerns are an exception to ordinary confidentiality arrangements, so these limits should be discussed at the outset.

Involvement in therapy does not mean that a partner or relative becomes a therapy client in the same way as the foster parent. The therapist should define each person’s role, what they are being asked to contribute and whether they can attend voluntarily. If someone does not want to participate, the foster parent can usually continue with individual support or consider another form of help, subject to the therapist’s professional assessment.

Where therapy is taking place during the fostering assessment or after approval, the foster carer should ask how joint sessions will be recorded and whether any information will be shared with the fostering service. Therapy is generally separate from the assessment process, but safeguarding information or matters directly relevant to a child’s welfare may need to be considered by the appropriate professionals. Taking part in family therapy is not, by itself, evidence that someone is unsuitable to foster; the relevant issue is how the household manages difficulties and supports safe care.

A suitable arrangement should take account of the fostered child’s needs, existing family relationships, language or communication requirements, cultural context and any risks within the household. If there is domestic abuse, coercion, intimidation or an immediate safeguarding concern, joint sessions may be unsuitable or unsafe. In those circumstances, the therapist should prioritise safety and consider individual support or specialist intervention instead.

Before agreeing to family involvement, ask the therapist:

• Who is expected to attend and can participation be changed later?
• What is the purpose of involving each person?
• What will remain private and what circumstances require information to be shared?
• How will information from joint and individual sessions be kept separate?
• How will the approach fit with the fostering assessment, supervision or support arrangements?
• What will happen if a family member does not wish to take part?

The most appropriate format is the one that provides a safe, useful setting for the issue being discussed. A therapist can help decide whether individual, couple or family sessions are suitable and can review that decision as circumstances change.