What wellbeing support is available for foster carers’ birth children?

Wellbeing support for a foster carer’s birth children is the practical, emotional and relational help provided to make sure fostering works safely for every child in the household. It should recognise their age, personality, understanding of fostering and the specific effect that a new child, changing routines or difficult behaviour may have on their daily life.

Birth children should be included in household planning without being given responsibility for the placement. Support may involve:

• Explaining what fostering may mean for bedrooms, privacy, family time, possessions and household rules.
• Giving them suitable ways to express views before and during a placement.
• Making sure they know which adults they can approach if something feels uncomfortable or confusing.
• Helping them understand that a foster child’s behaviour may be linked to past experiences, while still taking their own safety and feelings seriously.
• Providing opportunities for ordinary family activities that are not focused on fostering.
• Arranging additional support if their emotional wellbeing, relationships, school life or behaviour is being affected.

Support should be appropriate to the child’s age. Younger children may need simple explanations, repeated reassurance and help naming their feelings. Older children and teenagers may want more privacy, detailed information and a greater say in how fostering affects their space and routines. They may also need acknowledgement that they can feel several things at once, such as excitement, protectiveness, frustration, embarrassment or resentment. These reactions do not mean they are unsupportive of fostering.

Birth children should not be expected to act as carers, counsellors or protectors. Foster carers remain responsible for caring for the foster child and managing professional arrangements. Clear boundaries can help prevent a birth child from feeling that they must supervise, share everything or tolerate behaviour that makes them uncomfortable. They should be able to say when they need time alone, help from an adult or a change to an arrangement.

Practical support is an important part of wellbeing. A fostering household may need to consider how to protect:

• Private spaces and personal belongings.
• Regular mealtimes, hobbies, friendships and school routines.
• One-to-one time with parents or other important family members.
• Family celebrations, holidays and activities that may need additional planning.
• Safe arrangements for disagreements, challenging behaviour or contact-related changes.

These arrangements should be discussed openly rather than left for a birth child to manage alone. A written family agreement can set out expectations about privacy, language, belongings, visitors, shared spaces and who to tell if a problem occurs. It can be reviewed when household circumstances change.

Support may come from different people. Foster carers can provide a listening relationship at home, while the fostering team can help the family consider the effect of placements and identify suitable assistance. Depending on the circumstances, this could include a discussion with a social worker, school pastoral staff, a family support worker, a therapeutic professional or another appropriate service. Any referral should take account of the birth child’s consent and understanding, subject to safeguarding requirements.

Confidentiality should be explained clearly. A birth child may need to know what they can discuss privately and when information may have to be shared to protect someone from harm. They should not be encouraged to share confidential details about the foster child with friends or online. At the same time, confidentiality should not be used to prevent them from seeking help about their own experiences. Foster carers can agree safe language for explaining fostering to relatives, teachers and friends without disclosing personal information.

Possible signs that extra support may be useful include a persistent change in mood, sleep or appetite; withdrawal from family or friends; loss of interest in usual activities; falling school attendance or attainment; frequent arguments; anxiety about being at home; physical complaints without a clear medical cause; or statements suggesting guilt, fear or responsibility for the foster child. One sign does not establish a cause, but a noticeable or continuing change should be discussed with an appropriate professional.

Birth children should also know how to raise a concern if they feel unsafe, unheard or treated unfairly. Their concern should be listened to without asking them to investigate events or take sides. If there is an immediate risk of harm, safeguarding procedures should be followed and urgent help sought through the appropriate local services.

Before applying to foster, families should discuss the likely impact on every child at home and consider whether the household can protect each child’s needs. Ongoing support works best when birth children are treated as members of the family whose views matter, rather than as an afterthought to the fostering assessment. A fostering service can explain how it involves birth children, what support routes it can offer and how concerns are handled as part of the assessment and approval process.