What should foster parents ask about the respite carer’s experience?

Foster parents should ask for a clear account of the respite carer’s previous placements, the ages and circumstances of children they have cared for, and how that experience relates to the child who will be staying with them. The aim is not simply to find someone with a long fostering history, but to establish whether their experience is relevant, recent and suitable for the proposed arrangement.

Before agreeing to respite care, ask the fostering agency or supervising social worker to explain the carer’s approval status and role. A respite carer may be an approved foster carer who provides planned short-term care, rather than someone acting informally. Clarify whether the arrangement has been assessed and agreed through the appropriate fostering process, and who remains responsible for oversight while the child is away from their usual foster home.

Useful questions about the carer’s background include:

• How long have they been fostering or providing respite care?
• What ages and types of placement have they previously supported?
• Have they cared for children who needed short stays, introductions to new carers or planned breaks from their usual placement?
• Have they supported children with similar family circumstances, communication styles or day-to-day routines?
• How recently did they provide care, and is this still part of their current fostering role?
• What have they learned from previous respite placements?

Ask how the carer approaches the first meeting and the transition into their home. Relevant experience includes being able to gather information calmly, listen to the child and avoid making assumptions based on previous placements. Find out whether the carer is willing to meet the child beforehand, follow an agreed introduction plan and allow the child time to become familiar with the household. A carer should also understand that a short stay can still be significant for a child, particularly where previous moves or disrupted relationships have affected their sense of security.

It is also important to ask about experience of maintaining boundaries during a temporary arrangement. The carer should know what decisions they can make themselves, what must be referred to the fostering team and how they will respond if the child’s behaviour, presentation or needs change. Ask for examples of how they have dealt with an unexpected difficulty during an earlier placement, including who they contacted and how the situation was recorded. This can reveal more about their judgement than a general statement that they are experienced.

Questions about the carer’s household can be just as relevant as questions about their individual background. Ask who else lives in or regularly visits the home, whether they have experience helping children settle alongside other household members, and how they manage privacy and personal space. If the child has particular relationships, routines or sensitivities, check how the carer’s previous experience would inform the way these are handled. The household’s approach should be compatible with the child’s placement plan, rather than expecting the child to adapt without support.

Foster parents should ask how the respite carer works with the child’s existing network. Relevant experience may include helping a child maintain agreed contact, communicate with school or professionals, attend appointments and keep important routines consistent. Ask what information they would need before the stay, how they would record significant events and how updates would be passed to the supervising social worker and the child’s social worker. These arrangements should be agreed in advance rather than left to personal judgement.

It is reasonable to ask whether the carer has experience supporting children to return to their main foster home. The end of respite should be planned as carefully as the start. Ask how the carer would help the child prepare for the return, what information would be shared with the main foster family and how any worries, incidents or changes in behaviour would be discussed. A good handover should include practical observations without labelling or criticising the child.

The fostering team may not be able to disclose confidential details about other children or previous placements. However, they should be able to explain whether the carer’s experience is relevant to the proposed stay and what safeguards are in place. If the answer to a question cannot be shared, ask what general assurance or alternative information can be provided.

Finally, ask the child’s social worker or supervising social worker to explain how the proposed match was considered. This should include the child’s views where appropriate, the purpose of the respite, the expected length and arrangements for contact, transport, medication and emergencies. If the carer’s experience appears unsuitable, incomplete or difficult to verify, raise this before agreeing to the arrangement. Experience is most useful when it is relevant to the child, supported by proper planning and combined with a willingness to work within the agreed care plan.