Can I decline a respite placement that does not suit my household?

Yes. A respite foster carer can decline a proposed placement when it is not suitable for their household, approval, experience or ability to meet the child’s needs safely. You should explain your reasons promptly to your supervising social worker so the decision can be considered properly and recorded.

Being approved for respite fostering does not usually mean you must accept every referral. Each placement still needs to be considered individually. The agency should provide enough information for you to make an informed decision, while recognising that information may be limited when a referral is urgent or circumstances are changing.

Reasons a respite placement may not be suitable

A placement might not fit because of practical, personal or safeguarding considerations, such as:

• the child’s age, needs or behaviour being outside your approval or current experience;
• the bedroom arrangements not meeting the child’s requirements;
• the length, timing or frequency of the respite stay conflicting with existing commitments;
• transport to school, contact or appointments being impractical;
• the placement potentially affecting children or other vulnerable people already living in your household;
• medical, emotional or behavioural needs requiring skills or support you do not currently have; or
• the proposed arrangement creating risks involving pets, other household members or the physical environment.

You do not need to accept a placement simply to appear cooperative. Accepting a referral that you cannot manage safely may create difficulties for you, your household and the child. A clear explanation allows the fostering team to assess whether additional information, training or practical support would resolve the concern, or whether a different carer should be considered.

What to do before making a decision

Ask the agency for the relevant referral information, including the child’s age, reason for respite, routines, health and education needs, known behaviours, contact arrangements, required transport, expected duration and any risks identified. Consider how the placement would affect everyone in your household, including other children and any work, caring or education responsibilities.

Discuss any uncertainty with your supervising social worker rather than making assumptions. You can ask specific questions about supervision, the plan for managing difficult situations and what support would be available. However, you should not feel pressured to accept if important information is missing or the proposed arrangements remain unsuitable.

How to decline professionally

Tell the supervising social worker or placement team as soon as possible, give factual reasons and distinguish between a temporary practical difficulty and a more fundamental concern. For example, you might explain that the required transport cannot be provided, that the child’s needs fall outside your approval, or that accepting the placement would affect the safety or wellbeing of someone already in your household.

A refusal should not be based on prejudice or assumptions about a child or their background. Decisions should relate to your genuine capacity, the information provided and safe care. If you are unsure whether a concern is relevant, discuss it with your supervising social worker so it can be examined fairly.

Could declining affect your fostering role?

One considered refusal does not automatically mean that you are unsuitable to provide respite care. The agency may, however, discuss repeated refusals, the reasons for them and whether your approval terms or preferred placement profile need reviewing. This is part of ensuring that future referrals are realistic and that your household is not offered arrangements it cannot safely manage.

Keep communication open after declining. You may be able to explain which types of respite placement would be more appropriate, such as particular age groups, shorter stays or placements with needs that match your training and experience. Your approval and safer caring arrangements should guide those discussions.

If you have already agreed or the child has arrived

Once a respite placement has been agreed, or particularly once the child is in your care, do not end the arrangement independently unless there is an immediate danger. Contact the fostering agency promptly and explain the concern. The supervising social worker and placement team can review the situation, consider additional measures and agree what should happen next.

If there is an immediate safeguarding or medical emergency, follow the emergency arrangements provided by your fostering service and contact the appropriate emergency services where necessary. For less urgent concerns, record what has happened and seek guidance from the agency before making changes to the placement.

Declining an unsuitable referral is part of responsible fostering decision-making. The important points are to assess the information carefully, be honest about your household’s capacity, communicate the decision promptly and seek professional guidance when the position is unclear.