How do local foster care services support your own children?

Local foster care services support your own children by including them in the assessment, helping them understand fostering in an age-appropriate way, and putting safeguards around their privacy, routines and wellbeing. Your children are part of the household that will experience fostering, so their needs should be considered before approval and throughout each placement.

Including your children in the assessment

As part of the fostering assessment, the social worker will consider how fostering could affect each child in your household. This may include their age, maturity, emotional needs, views about fostering, school life, bedrooms and personal space, relationships with other family members, and any additional support they already receive.

Your children should have an opportunity to express their views without feeling responsible for the final decision. Younger children may communicate through simple conversations or activities, while older children may be able to discuss more detailed questions about boundaries, privacy and household changes. Their views do not replace the wider assessment, but they are an important part of deciding whether fostering is suitable for your family.

Helping children understand fostering

Services can help you explain that a fostered child may have experienced neglect, abuse, loss or several previous moves. This can affect behaviour, relationships and the way they respond to adults. Understanding the reasons behind behaviour can help your own children avoid taking difficult reactions personally, while also making clear that they are not expected to manage or fix those difficulties.

Children should receive information that is suitable for their age and understanding. They need to know what fostering involves, what changes might occur in the home, who they can talk to, and which information must remain private. A fostering service may provide resources or discussions to help parents have these conversations clearly rather than leaving children to make assumptions.

Protecting routines, privacy and boundaries

Practical planning can reduce disruption for your own children. Before a placement, you should discuss bedroom arrangements, household rules, use of shared spaces, belongings, pets, school routines, visitors and time with parents or friends. Your children should not be expected to share personal possessions or give up all of their usual activities.

Safer-care arrangements should explain how adults and children interact in the household, how personal care is managed, and what to do if a child makes an allegation or raises a concern. Your own children need to know how to seek help and that they can speak to a trusted adult privately. These arrangements protect every member of the household, including the fostered child.

Considering the right placement

Support for your own children also involves careful placement planning. Information about a child’s age, needs, behaviour, history, education, relationships and known risks should be considered alongside the circumstances of your household. You can ask how a proposed placement may affect your children and whether the household has the space, experience and emotional capacity to meet the child’s needs.

A placement should not be treated as suitable simply because a bedroom is available. Your children’s safety, stability and ability to cope are relevant when discussing whether a particular arrangement is appropriate. If circumstances change, you should tell the fostering service so that additional support or a review can be considered.

Support during and after a placement

Fostering services should give you a clear way to raise concerns about your own children’s wellbeing. This may include discussing changes in mood, sleep, school attendance, friendships, behaviour or family relationships with your supervising social worker or another member of the fostering team.

Support may also be needed when a placement ends. Your own children can experience sadness, frustration or uncertainty when a fostered child moves on, even where the move is planned. Talking through the ending, acknowledging their feelings and helping them maintain appropriate boundaries can make the transition easier. Ask the service what help is available for your family at this stage.

What your children are not expected to do

• They are not expected to act as a foster carer, counsellor, babysitter or personal protector.
• They should not be responsible for supervising a fostered child or managing challenging behaviour.
• They should not be pressured to disclose private information about their own feelings or relationships.
• They should not lose access to essential personal space, education, friendships or activities without careful consideration.

Before applying, discuss openly how fostering may affect your family’s time, finances, space and routines. Ask the local fostering service how your children will be involved in the assessment, what support they can access directly, and how concerns will be handled. A thorough service will treat the wellbeing of your own children as part of safe, sustainable fostering rather than as a separate issue.