What happens if a family member does not support fostering?

The key issue is whether the concern can be understood, addressed and managed safely, rather than whether every relative feels equally positive about fostering. A fostering assessment will look at the nature of the disagreement, the family member’s relationship with the household, and the effect their views may have on day-to-day family life.

Start by finding out what is behind the lack of support. A relative may be worried about privacy, changes to routines, the impact on children already in the home, difficult behaviour, contact with birth family, or the practical demands of fostering. These concerns are different from a firm objection based on a serious safeguarding issue, so they should not be treated as one general disagreement.

A useful conversation should:

• give the family member time to explain their concerns without being dismissed;
• separate facts they may have misunderstood from issues that need careful consideration;
• explain what fostering would and would not involve for them;
• identify which responsibilities belong to the foster carers and which boundaries need to be maintained; and
• consider what practical changes could reduce the concern.

The fostering team can help the family explore these points during the assessment. They may speak with household members individually as well as discussing matters together. This gives people an opportunity to express reservations honestly and helps the assessing social worker understand whether the concern is temporary, based on incomplete information, or likely to remain a significant source of conflict.

Where the family member lives in the household, their views are particularly important. Fostering affects shared space, routines, visitors, confidentiality and the way family decisions are made. The household needs a workable understanding of matters such as private information, personal belongings, rules for children and what to do if a situation becomes difficult. A relative does not necessarily have to take on the role of foster carer, but they should understand the boundaries that apply and be able to live safely within them.

Someone who does not live in the home may still be important if they provide regular childcare, visit frequently, offer practical help or have a strong influence on a child in the household. Their involvement should be discussed honestly. It may be possible to adjust arrangements so that support is not dependent on a relative who is unwilling or unable to provide it.

The assessment will also consider the effect of ongoing opposition on children already in the family. Children should be given information appropriate to their age and encouraged to share how they feel. They should not be pressured to agree, asked to keep adult disagreements secret or made responsible for deciding whether fostering goes ahead.

If the concern can be resolved, the family may agree clear arrangements and continue with the assessment. If disagreement remains, the assessing social worker will consider whether it creates an unstable home environment or prevents the household from meeting a child’s needs. In some cases, the family may decide to pause and gather more information before making a decision. In others, the assessment may not be able to progress until the conflict has been addressed.

It is better to be open about opposition than to present the family as fully supportive when it is not. Fostering involves ongoing professional assessment, training and support, so concerns identified early can be considered properly. The aim is to reach an informed decision based on the household’s circumstances and the safety and wellbeing of any child who may be placed there.