How does kinship fostering affect contact with a child’s parents?

Kinship fostering usually means that contact with a child’s parents continues, but in a planned way that protects the child’s welfare. The arrangement may affect how often parents see the child, where meetings take place, who attends and how information is shared. The details should be set out in the child’s care plan and followed alongside any court order or direction.

The child’s welfare comes first. Contact is not arranged simply to meet an adult’s wishes. Professionals consider the child’s age, views, emotional needs, history, relationship with each parent and any risks connected with contact. They also consider whether meetings help the child maintain important relationships or leave them distressed, unsettled or unsafe.

What contact can look like

• Face-to-face visits between the child and a parent.
• Telephone or video calls, where these are suitable for the child.
• Letters, cards, photographs or other indirect communication.
• Contact in a family home, community setting, contact centre or another agreed location.
• Meetings attended or observed by a suitable adult when additional safeguards are needed.

The arrangement may include practical details such as the frequency and length of visits, transport, who is responsible for handovers, what the parent may bring, and how cancellations are dealt with. A kinship carer should not make informal changes that conflict with the agreed plan. If a parent asks to alter an arrangement, the carer should refer the request to the child’s social worker or another responsible professional.

The kinship carer’s role

A kinship carer will often be expected to help contact take place safely and reliably. This may involve preparing the child, taking them to an agreed venue, sharing appropriate updates and helping them settle afterwards. It does not mean the carer has to negotiate privately with a parent or make decisions that belong to the local authority or the court.

Kinship carers should keep appropriate boundaries. They can be respectful and cooperative without becoming responsible for resolving disagreements between the child’s parents and professionals. Arrangements should be confirmed clearly, particularly where parents have different expectations about visits, communication or the information they should receive.

Parental responsibility and decision-making

Becoming a kinship foster carer does not automatically transfer parental responsibility to the carer. The legal position depends on the child’s circumstances and the order or arrangement under which they are being looked after. A parent may continue to have parental responsibility, while the local authority and the court may also have powers or duties affecting decisions about the child.

This means a foster carer should check before making significant decisions about matters such as education, medical treatment, travel, religious practice or a change to contact. The child’s social worker can explain who has authority to make a particular decision and whether a court direction applies.

Preparing the child for contact

Children may experience mixed feelings before and after seeing a parent. They may be excited, worried, angry, quiet or unsettled, and their response can change from one visit to the next. A carer can help by giving the child clear, age-appropriate information, avoiding promises about what a parent will say or do, and allowing time to regulate afterwards.

Children should not be asked to carry messages, explain adult disagreements or choose between family members. A carer should also avoid criticising a parent in front of the child. Even where relationships are difficult, children often need permission to care about their parents without feeling disloyal to the kinship carer.

Where appropriate, the child’s views should inform decisions about contact. This does not necessarily mean that a child decides the arrangements, particularly where a court order applies, but their wishes and feelings should be taken seriously and considered in light of their age and understanding.

When contact does not go as planned

A parent may arrive late, cancel, fail to attend or behave in a way that concerns the child or the supervising adults. The carer should record what happened factually and report it through the agreed safeguarding and social-work channels. They should not punish the child for a parent’s absence or make promises about the next visit before the arrangement has been reviewed.

If the child returns distressed, unusually withdrawn, aggressive or reluctant to attend future contact, this should be shared with the child’s social worker. One difficult visit does not automatically mean that contact should stop, but repeated concerns may require a professional review. Likewise, a carer should not stop contact independently unless there is an immediate safety concern; in that situation, they should take reasonable steps to protect the child and contact the relevant professionals without delay.

Reviewing contact arrangements

Contact may need to change as the child grows, expresses different views, settles into the placement or responds to visits in a particular way. It may also change if a parent’s circumstances alter or if new safeguarding information becomes available. Reviews should consider evidence about the child’s wellbeing rather than treating contact as fixed indefinitely.

Kinship carers should raise concerns early with the child’s social worker and keep records of visits, missed contact, significant comments made by the child and any noticeable changes in behaviour. Records should be factual and non-judgemental. They may help professionals understand whether the current arrangement is supporting the child or needs adjustment.

Support for the kinship carer

Managing contact can be one of the more demanding parts of a kinship placement, particularly where the carer already has a family relationship with the child’s parent. The carer can ask the supervising social worker, child’s social worker or fostering support team for guidance on boundaries, handovers, communication and responding to difficult behaviour. Training and supervision may also help carers understand trauma, attachment and the emotional impact of family contact.

The most workable arrangements are clear, child-focused and reviewed when circumstances change. A kinship carer is not expected to manage complicated contact issues alone, but should follow the agreed plan, communicate concerns promptly and keep the child’s safety and emotional wellbeing at the centre of every decision.